Hi folks. Sorry I've not been around for a few months but so much has been going on. Sadly my mum died. She was 99, so at least she saved the Queen a stamp! Her last drink on this planet was a sherry - good on her. Everyone who knew her will remember her lovely smile.
Anyhow, before I get too maudling, let me tell you about my new tennis prodigy, named Mr Darcy. I recognised his talent right away - he went straight for my brand new Asics shoes (I was wearing them) and wouldn't let go. Since then he has developed a rare skill in untying laces, outwith my knowledge. So when I stand up my shoe falls off. Such is his devotion to my tennis shoes, he hides them away - the latest secret store is under my bed - where I've also found a J cloth and a Snickers wrapper. This dog's got talent.
Not to be outdone by Victoria Azarenka or Maria Sharapova, he has developed a shrieking bark which resonates to jet plane volume as he pursues a ball along the hallway.
Some people were surpised I got a male version. Well my track record with females leaves a bit to be desired to be honest. I guess we will be likened to Men Behaving Badly or the Likely Lads - feet up in front of the telly, with real ale and pedigree puppy chum crisps.
Those of you who never read anything apart from the Sun or Hello, will wonder why he's called Mr Darcy. Well, as in Pride and Prejudice, he is dark and handsome but with a slightly sultry look - a bit like his master in fact. Enough enough! I await the arrival of Miss Elizabeth Bennet with great anticipation.
By the way, Mr Darcy is an all back Cocker Spaniel.
This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.
